I may or may not be experiencing a bit of a bank holiday slump (I am) and therefore feeling a touch (very) pessimistic but it dawned on me this morning that becoming self-employed has not exempt me from the office stereotypes – much to my horror I have in fact become all of the people that I used to loathe when I was a full-time employee.
The Horrible Boss
The one that never says thank you, is all stick and no carrot and generally an all around grumpy and energy sapping individual – yup you’re looking at her. When I finish my day, instead of thinking “Good work, enjoy your evening” it’s “Ok, you finally got that done but why haven’t you started this yet?”
Eager to please, the need to be liked seeps off her – oh hi Anna! I am a morning person but i’ll try and impress even myself with early starts, exercise before breakfast and being at my desk and ready to work at 7.30am with a neat to-do list lined up. The horrible boss is pleased to have at least one person in the office who is raring to go but is enthusiasm about all she can muster?
The one who finds a way to wriggle out of every task and spends most of their mornings hopping between Twitter, Facebook, BBC News and lifestyle blogs – just me? The suck-up tries so hard to set them up for their best working day yet but then the slacker just comes and, well, does nothing.
The Office B*tch
The poison that pervades the office walls with negative comments, backhanded compliments and whispers behind your back of “What does she actually do here?”. The mature part of you says to ignore her but you can’t help shake the niggling feeling that she might be right.
Ok, at the risk of dragging you all down my negative road (or of sounding borderline schizophrenic), here are some rules that I try and stick to so that I can become my favourite person to work with!
1. You can only do what you can do. Don’t expect to complete a thousand tasks in a day, that’s not possible.
2. Slow and steady wins the race. Yes, some people can work for 20 hours at a million miles an hour but I can’t and that’s alright.
3. Reward good work rather than punishing bad. I set myself chunks of tasks to get through with a reward (e.g. going out for a coffee or a walk in the park) after each chunk.
4. I try and stick to the routine below as much as possible (although the Horrible Boss may think the power nap is a step too far..)